Keep talking

So yesterday I posted about fear and how the world makes us uncomfortable when we follow after God, and today I draw my sword (the Word) and fight back. "Show me a sign for good, That those who hate me may see it and be ashamed, Because you , O Lord, have helped me and comforted me." Psalm 86:17

Fears

Today was the first day of our new commitment to truly seek God's will for our lives (see post below). It was a great day. Everything I did seemed to bring my mind to our decision. I am sure I have wore out my husband with everything that came to my mind today. I was so excited and overwhelmed. When Breisch and I took Gage (our 8 1/2 month old) to run a few errands today, I was looking out the window saying "God, what is it. What is this unsettling feel you have given me. And Lord, please give us the strength to walk through those door when you reveal it to us." I mean He can be calling us to so many things, and there are so many things that I am so scared of doing. The thing is, right now my life is comfortable; it is easy. To think that God is calling me to something out of my comfort is a little uneasy on my heart, but "God has not given us a spirit timidity, but of power and love and discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7. My prayer today is to not anticipate what God is doing in our lives, but to continue to pray, and seek His direction through His word. All day Satan created doubt in my mind, and all day I kept saying "Lord, help me to follow through when the time comes."

Tonight I feel better about where I am on this journey. I felt like my fears where getting the best of me, so tonight, Breisch and I sat down and made a list of all the things we would be scared of if God called us to do them. Some of the fears were: Living in a different culture, moving out of the country, giving more than the standard gift, adopting, being foster parents, and relocating to another state. After I wrote them down, we made a decision to pray. Pray for God to open our hearts and pray for God to break these fears. And the Journey continues.

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seek him." Lamentations 3:25

Delight in following HIM

I started this blog for the most part to share our family moments with our close friends and family. Most of the time, that simply meant I just post pictures, because to be brutally honest, I truly dislike writing. Why I am sharing that with you, I will never know. If you visit this blog at all, you already know I am not a fan of writing. I am writing now because I feel like something needs to change in our lives, and as I read some of my friends' blogs tonight, it has encouraged me to seek even harder for what that might be. I am confident that God is about to show Breisch and me something great, so I thought I would share it before this journey (whatever "it" is) begins. There are a couple of reason for this. One is so that you can pray for us as we seek out whatever it is that God is starting to unveil to us. I also thought, by posting what is going on now, it would be fun to look back and see where God has taken us. Accountability is the third reason. I hate to admit this but the "follow through" is definitely not my strong suit, which is why I married my husband because he is so good at it.

This all started at the beginning of 2010 year. I felt the Lord calling me to serve in the preschool area. I knew the preschool area needed help and knew my heart wanted to worship the Lord in way of serving there. Although I love my two-year-olds, my heart is still unsettled. Going forward to spring, our small group, along with many other groups in our church, read the book "Crazy Love." It is a great book and very convicting. If you really want a model of a true follower of God, I encourage you to read it. Through this book, Breisch and I felt God pulling us, but as bad as it sounds, the world's noise was detracting us from seek HIM. Breisch and I realized we were not in a place to hear God's word, so we started to pray for the desire to want God's plan for our lives. Man, how the world pulls us! We prayed all spring and nothing or so we thought but God does not unfold his plan in our timing. It is and will be in his perfect time.

In May, we went to a marriage conference by Family Life called a "Weekend to Remember." It was a great refresher on the role of the marriage in God's eyes and what a special gift and awesome power God has given us in marriage. This conference is where God started to stir up something in both Breisch's and my heart, but WHAT? At the conference, God led us to our next small group study that begins in the Fall. We will be leading a completely new small group, and we are so excited about the confidence we felt God has given us in the Home Builders Study, which is based off the "Weekend to Remember" Conference. We also felt God still telling us that there is something bigger. During the weekend, Breisch and I went to the meeting to possibly work for Family Life to see if that might be what God is calling us to do. We did not really think God was calling us to change our jobs, but we also did not want to close any doors either. As of right now we are still praying for our desire to seek after Him, and we hope through our community, prayer, and studying his word that we discover our next steps.

So here we are in the middle of this journey not sure where God is going to take us but know there is something special just around the corner. Right now we are asking for prayers.

Prayers to continue on this journey without fear of failure and the unknown. Prayers for patience and prayers for our eyes to be open to WHATEVER God has in store for us.

"Direct me in the path of your commands, for there I find delight." Psalm 119:35 (My sister shared this verse with me in my mother's day gift and it has been a verse my heart has just clung to.) What a great example of how God works in the little things. Thanks, Lizzie.