Fears

Today was the first day of our new commitment to truly seek God's will for our lives (see post below). It was a great day. Everything I did seemed to bring my mind to our decision. I am sure I have wore out my husband with everything that came to my mind today. I was so excited and overwhelmed. When Breisch and I took Gage (our 8 1/2 month old) to run a few errands today, I was looking out the window saying "God, what is it. What is this unsettling feel you have given me. And Lord, please give us the strength to walk through those door when you reveal it to us." I mean He can be calling us to so many things, and there are so many things that I am so scared of doing. The thing is, right now my life is comfortable; it is easy. To think that God is calling me to something out of my comfort is a little uneasy on my heart, but "God has not given us a spirit timidity, but of power and love and discipline." 2 Timothy 1:7. My prayer today is to not anticipate what God is doing in our lives, but to continue to pray, and seek His direction through His word. All day Satan created doubt in my mind, and all day I kept saying "Lord, help me to follow through when the time comes."

Tonight I feel better about where I am on this journey. I felt like my fears where getting the best of me, so tonight, Breisch and I sat down and made a list of all the things we would be scared of if God called us to do them. Some of the fears were: Living in a different culture, moving out of the country, giving more than the standard gift, adopting, being foster parents, and relocating to another state. After I wrote them down, we made a decision to pray. Pray for God to open our hearts and pray for God to break these fears. And the Journey continues.

"The Lord is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seek him." Lamentations 3:25